The Nightbus

Do you ever find yourself over hearing some fantastic conversations? I do and I always wish I had a dictaphone on me to record them. I spent some time on an N13 from Golders green last night, and this is what I over heard:

(young man who later we find out is called Harvey enters bus)

Harvey: Does this go to Charing Cross?

Driver: Yes

Harvey: I need to get to Charing Cross.

Driver: This bus goes to Charing Cross.

Harvey: Oh...

(Harvey stumbles on first deck of bus, dropping his phone in the process)

Harvey: (to plaid shirted, Carlsberg swelling bloke) Can I borrow your phone?

Bloke: Why d’ya wanna borrow my phone?

Harvey: Mines run out of credit, I need to call my friend.

(Bloke mumbles something indecipherable, hands Harvey the phone. Harvey drops the phone)

Harvey: Shit, sorry. (Dials number) Gary it’s Harvey, where are you?... Who are you with Gary?... Can you ring my mobile?

(hands Bloke back his phone)

Harvey: (to bus driver) Does this go to Charing Cross?

Driver: Yes.

(Phone rings)

Harvey: Gary, where are you? Where? I can’t hear you… Who are you with? I don’t like your friends Gary… Oh, just some Guy… I’m on a bus…. (louder) I’m on a bus! I don’t know where…

Bloke: Baker Street.

Harvey: What?

Bloke: Tell him you’re at Baker Street tube.

Harvey: I’m at Barker Street.

Bloke: Baker Street.

Harvey: I’m at Beaker Street… Beaker Street! (to Bloke) Where am I?

Bloke: Baker Street!

Harvey: (to Bloke) Can you tell him.. (hands phone to Bloke)

Bloke: He’s at Baker Street tube station mate. Baker Street! (hands phone back).

Harvey: Where should I get off Gary? Where? Who are you with? What did he say?... I don’t like your friends, I’m lost Gary…

(the bus approaches Oxford Street)

Harvey: (to driver) Excuse me, where am I?

Driver: Oxford Street.

Harvey: Gary, I’m on Oxford Street. Where should I get off? I’m lost Gary, I’m on a bus and I’m lost…

(Harvey walks over to the driver)

Harvey: I need to get off the bus, let me off the bus.

Driver: Only at the bus stop.

Harvey: But I need to get off now!

(Driver slams shut the window and the bus speeds up, causing Harvey to nearly fall over)

Harvey: They’re shouting at me Gary, shouting at me, they won’t let me off the bus! They’re not letting me off the bus! What should I do, They’re not letting me off. I’m lost Gary…

(Bloke starts to laugh to himself)